For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Randomize
