FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
