did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
