shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I just googled if crying burns calories
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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