This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
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She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
just found out that she named her cat after me.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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