I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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