I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
