Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
so explain again why im purple
no
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
