she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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