Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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