The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
