Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
