id be glad to
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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