I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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