sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
