So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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