Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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