Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
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