Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
