Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
vagina is talking i cant
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Watching her eat just hurts me
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
