Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
