Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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