you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
