Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
