Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
