She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
