Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
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Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
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There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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