I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
