There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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