Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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