Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
