woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
