you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize