So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
YAS. BRING CRAB.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
