Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
