I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
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Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
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Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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