this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
