so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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