Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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