I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
