I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
