is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
