the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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