I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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