So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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