there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
i think my cat just said my name.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
