Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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