There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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