my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
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