last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Someone signed my nipple.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
