You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
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There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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