U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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