Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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