I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
