Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
